A message of reconciliation

Cindy Scardina leads worship at Catholic Charismatic renewal events with the band “Mercy Beaucoup.” For her, the phrase expresses her thankfulness for the mercy and abundant life God gives her through her adoptive and biological families.

Scardina’s story about finding her biological family entails the detective work of following a trail of clues, “eureka” moments when putting together information and the joy of embracing her family.

Her mission in telling her story is about the beauty of choosing adoption when facing an unplanned pregnancy.

In 1974, the year after the Supreme Court upheld legalized abortion in the case Roe V. Wade, Scardina invited a right-to-life group to speak at her high school.

“I was booed walking down the hallway for two to three weeks; it was just crazy,” said Scardina to the reaction that contradicted her experiences growing up.

“I was always told by my parents that I was adopted, that adoption was not a dirty word,” said Scardina.

The word “adoption” helped Scardina grow in her faith.

“In Romans 8:15, my favorite Scripture, it said ‘you did not receive a spirit of slavery, but of adoption, through which we cry, ‘Abba,’ ” said Scardina.

Her musically-talented voice rang out. 

“My all-time favorite is Isaiah 49:1: ‘Before my birth, the Lord called me, from my mother’s womb he gave me my name,’ ”  she said.

She opens her story with that Scripture passage at speaking engagements.

Scardina hesitated to search for her birth family because she had friends who were adopted and had found their biological families but they had been rejected by them or disowned by their adoptive families.  

“(My husband) Keith and I have been married for 46 years. I have four wonderful children and 16 grandchildren. I ‘was good,’ I didn’t want to ‘rock the boat,’ ” said Scardina.

Her brother through adoption was “obsessed with genealogy” and searched for his biological family in the mid–1990s. He and Scardina had been adopted through Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of New Orleans from St. Vincent’s Infant Home, run by the Daughters of Charity of the St. Vincent de Paul Society.  

At that time Louisiana required both the adoptee and biological parent(s) to be open to being contacted for case files to be open. Otherwise, an adoptee would only be given “identifying information” that is helpful, but not specific (employment, the mother or possibly both parents birthdates, etc.). 

The brother received information about his biological family and told Scardina, “You need to do this.” But Scardina waited until after her mother died in the summer of 2000.

“By August I had identifying information and it said that my mother and father were not married and they had another daughter they placed for adoption (18 months) earlier. It also had her birth date on it,” Scardina said. 

The records indicated her mother had blue eyes, worked in a department store and was Methodist.

“It also said she played piano well, which I was satisfied with my music background,” Scardina said.

Ten years later, Scardina’s brother sent his DNA to an online ancestry research organization and quickly found his biological family.

“He said again, ‘You’ve got to do this.’ ” Finally I said, ‘OK, but you have to do the research,’ which he wanted to do anyway, ” Scardina said.

She sent off her DNA and discovered second and third cousins, all which had the same last name, Colomb.

Her brother combined the online information with Scardina’s information from Catholic Charities. 

From there a mystery began. The online DNA match led to a Victor Colomb, deceased, being Scardina’s father, but it did not match any of the identifying information about the man listed by Catholic Charities as her father.

“We were 99 percent sure that this was my mom,” Scardina said of the Catholic Charities information. She had even worked for a retail store.

Further investigation showed that Scardina’s mother had a younger brother who was still alive at the time.

On Father’s Day, 2016 Scardina called him.

“He answered the phone and I said, ‘My named is Cindy Scardina and I was placed for adoption in 1956 and I have reason to believe that your sister was my mother. He said, ‘I have no doubt’ and starts telling me the story of this huge family I have. There were nine siblings counting me,” Scardina said.

It turns out Victor had been previously married and his wife passed away shortly after having their fourth child. 

After his wife’s death, Victor dated Scardina’s mother, who was also seeing another man. They assumed the other man was Scardina’s father and Scardina and her older sister were placed for adoption. 

Victor took care of Scardina’s mother during her pregnancy until Scardina was placed for adoption. They later married and had three more children.

Scardina and her brother eventually located the other child who had been placed for adoption, Bonnie Culvehouse. Scardina was reunited with her six sisters and two brothers.

“That Sunday that I talked with my uncle the floodgates opened and I was having phone calls. They talked to me for an hour at a time and then somebody else would be calling, and it was just crazy,” said Scardina.

The sibling reunions were joyful, discovering of the remarkable similarities in looks, personalities, etc.

“I saw these people for the first time and it was like I had loved them all my life,” Scardina said.

She emphasized that her story illustrates the life-giving choice of adoption.

“Women feel they can’t take care of their babies,” Scardina said “Give them a lifetime with an adoptive family that loves them.”

From an adoptee’s perspective, she encouraged those who are thinking of looking for their biological families “to go for it.”

“It’s worth it to know one way or the other. If they reject you or not, either side, it’s worth it to know where your roots are, to know fully your background,” Scardina said. “I grew up with my life starting Nov. 29, 1956. I had nothing from before, and finding my family gave me history. I didn’t have history before.”