Dementia presentation set in Prairieville

When battling the frustrations, pain and gradual “losses” brought by dementia, faith fills the most urgent need for peace and hope, according to Matthew Estrade, gerontologist. 

Estrade will present a talk, “The Basics of Dementia: Your Catholic Faith has Prepared You for This Journey,” on Thursday, Dec. 1, 7 p.m., at St. John the Evangelist Church in Prairieville. The presentation will focus on identifying and coping for those impacted by dementia.

Estrade will give an overview of the different types and signs of dementia, probable diagnosis of dementia as well as what caregivers can expect on the journey, from when they get a diagnosis until their loved one passes away.

According to Estrade, dementia is a broad term used to describe a group of chronic symptoms such as memory impairment disrupting everyday life, diminished judgment, inability to plan, challenges with words and communicating, disorientation of time and place.

Having accompanied caregivers in various stages of dementia, Estrade said some people with dementia or their caretakers do not seek help in the beginning because they are trying to process everything after the diagnosis. Some think, “I don’t need outside help. I can deal with it.”

“For some people it takes some ‘event’ or ‘something that happens.’ It’s not always necessarily that bad, but it moves them to ask for help because a lot of times they’re reeling from the news,” said Estrade.

For some dementia patients there is something called “ambiguous loss” in which their loved one is physically present in front of them, but psychologically, they act in different ways than what they are used to or unable to do the things they used to do.

“The person is not grieving someone who’s passed away but they are grieving small losses along the way, like the ability to not work anymore, perhaps, or the loss might be not able to keep the checkbook up to date at home. It might be all those little things we do in our families,” said Estrade.

He said from there, it may come to the point where the person is not able to cook and eventually not able to dress or feed themselves.

Estrade will also talk about help and assistance available for caregivers. 

Some families are fortunate to be able to care for a loved one in their own home because they can call in professional caregivers or have a number of committed family members.

“But certainly not everyone is blessed to have a number of committed family members. And then some people do but their physical condition goes beyond what they can do. And then a facility is appropriate,” said Estrade.

“And within those topics I’m going to interweave our Catholic faith, so everything will be aligned with church teachings,” said Estrade, author of “The Peace with Dementia Rosary: Education, Intentions, Community.” 

He is a member of Mary, Queen of Peace Church in Mandeville.

“I’m going to talk about the spiritual journey as well because I’ve witnessed how the caregivers grow in virtue in order to be the best they can be in order to take care of their loved one and actually then take care of themselves,” said Estrade.

When dealing with challenges of caregiving, people must choose between being bitter about it and not having hope or developing the virtue of patience and having hope.

“They certainly test us,” he said.

But in the midst of the storm in dealing with the realities of dementia there is a positive message of hope, emphasized Estrade.

He pointed out invoking the intercession of the saints can help people receive the graces they need to help alleviate the suffering of their loved ones.

Estrade pointed to several powerful intercessors for caregivers: St. Dymphna, patron saint of brain disorders; St. John the Evangelist, the patron saint of caregivers/care partners, who cared for the Blessed Virgin Mary in her advanced years; St. Raphael the Archangel, who healed Tobit of his blindness and protected Tobias on his journey in the Old Testament; and Our Lady of the Holy Rosary.

To further highlight this point, Estrade, in fact, commissioned sacred and religious artist Norman Faucheux to create artwork of these intercessors that are available on prayer cards and larger canvases.

The constant faith reminders keep people refreshed in their busyness of caregiving. 

 “I think it can be easy for people to put their own needs, especially their spiritual needs, on the backburner,” he said. “But I feel that caregivers who dive more into their faith are able to really find the meaning in it. Especially if you look at Jesus, crucified on the cross and the suffering of Our Lady and St. John who were at the foot of the cross. You will see how we are joining our sufferings to (Jesus’), but he’s been there and done that and we’re just following in his footsteps as he asks us to pick up our crosses and to follow him.”

For more information and various resources on Estrade’s ministry for cognitive impairment, visit dementiarosary.com.