Fabrics of Life

As we are all threading through Lent with prayer, fasting and almsgiving efforts in our own states of life, it may well be helpful to review how we can specifically strive to incorporate works of mercy through the people we are blessed to meet – like Melissa taught me in the past.

When I first met Melissa in the fall of 1981, I was unaccustomed to interacting with folks at nursing homes. So I was a little tentative in knowing what to say as a greeting or how to fully engage with her. 

Even though this was part of the mental health outreach work that I was involved in to isolated elders in the San Joaquin area of California per the Jesuit Volunteer Corps  I had not previously done a lot of visitations, either personally or professionally, with elders.

Her semi-private room door was already ajar, so I gently knocked on it to alert her that I was coming in and said, “Is this a good time for a visit, Ms. Melissa,” as I had been foretold by the charge nurse that she was someone identified who may possibly benefit from professional contact for depression and isolation. 

It sounded like Melissa had no local family contacts and was very limited in her mobility due to severe degenerative joint disease.

As our eyes met when I went closer to her bed, she appeared very diminutive and emaciated yet managed to convey a cheerful smile as she softly spoke, “I'm here working on another treasure – come and see it.” 

I stood right next to her and noticed how contorted her body was with pillows all around her hospital bed for cushioning and relief. My eyes were then immediately drawn to her hands that evidenced the twisted trauma of rheumatoid arthritis.

Somehow, securely in place between her thumb and index finger was a crocheting needle affixed in some cloth material with a pattern for some design that she was working on. 

She proceeded to ask me the normal pleasantry question one does when meeting a new person for the first time: 

“Where are you from?” as she continued to work her crochet needle elegantly in a continuous fashion with her eyes fixed on some cloth that appeared to be a quilt being made.

After I told her my name, my work role and that I was from New Orleans, there was a period of that silence that most of us know about - when you are uncomfortable about what to say next. 

Here I was, a social work apprentice remembering the dictum to “start where the client is,” so I shut up and tried to use some listening skills that I supposedly had acquired in undergraduate studies.

Over the next hour and following many of subsequent visits with Melissa, I learned much from and with her about what coping strategies can help elders and anyone in dealing with depression and isolation – intertwined with other facets of life lessons – not to mention learning how to crochet! 

I don't recall exactly the details of her military experiences in the Army, but she was definitely a pioneer as a Woman greatly helping our country with dedication and service.

Thanks, Melissa, for giving me a first hand experience in learning much more about the “fabrics of life!” 

Horcasitas, a licensed clinic social worker, is founder/owner of Prayer Care LLC in Baton Rouge.