Navigating the summertime shift in routine

Summertime can be such a strange time. Blessed with a job related to education I get to spend it with my kids. This is both an enormous gift and a giant shift in routine.

I transition to working from home and they are home. It is tricky to perform well and meet their needs. I have let guilt set in for thinking maybe I should put them in some type of day care or ask someone to help so they can be more enriched. It would give me more solid chunks of time for work but then they aren’t home in their happy place, and I wouldn’t get as much time even if it is distracted or in small slices.

For this reason, I can get hung-up thinking we need to do tons of meaningful things and then often can’t follow through and I get my hair all tangled. I wrestle with the change until the middle of July just in time to start shifting back.

There are always lofty plans and goals. This summer we wanted the baby to graduate to big boy undies before he turned three, but he just ran past me in a Paw Patrol pull-up. “I no potty, Momma.”

Everyone was to read, do their acts of charity (chores), and then they may be off to their screens or neighborhood buddies. I wanted to get my heart rate up a couple of times a week by walking or riding a bike. Those are all fine and dandy and we actually did get those things accomplished a good bit.

What I didn't realize until I was driving my son two hours to summer camp was that those things shouldn't have really been my goals and it wasn’t really guilt that I was feeling over a childcare conundrum. The Lord is so tender in his revelations, and I am so grateful. What I thought was meaningful was definitely important.

Don't get me wrong the house would be condemned if we weren't obedient to the broom and rag but my objectives were ill-placed and what seemed like neglect was a heads-up.

An hour into the trip and the closer we got to the camp the more and more melancholy I became. I was reflecting on what we were doing and how each day felt filled with me struggling to make sure the goals were at least visited in some capacity. My focus was not on what they were experiencing. It got lost on checking boxes. The big three were contributing and the baby was getting in his nap and that should have been enough, but I was caught up with more.

I was about to drop off my big boy and I was sad not because he was leaving but because the summer was zooming by with me having tunnel vision on tasks and not well spent time in whatever we were doing.

I was reflecting on arguments over what clean counters and tables really looked like and wet towels on the carpet but didn't always pray in gratitude for the moments when we are all working and playing together which was what my heart truly desired and was so compassionately given.

There were times when we had the surround sound speakers on a mix of Jesus jams and Disney tunes having so much fun cleaning.

We played on a giant sheet of visqueen all day long that left bellies chaffed and Dad’s beautiful yard with a dead patch 10 x 25 foot long. One day we all baked some type of treat and used nearly every piece of kitchenware known to man. I cleaned for hours but we got to share blackberry sweet dough tarts and pretzels with our neighbors. I did not internalize all the goodness until it was made clear that the one to whom we redirect to the most wouldn’t be home for a week.

I was thinking maybe I would be relieved with a break from having to sweep behind one less kid or having to stick my hand in cold bath water to drain a tub in the morning but really, I was bummed that I simply wouldn’t have his presence nor my full team.
I think the heads-up I mentioned earlier was a reminder of a bigger shift in years to come and to reset my intentions. The change in routine won't be a couple short months but years and then separate lives. This isn’t a new point to make but it is another way that I can see the Lord at work in our lives. He allowed me to learn through the over exertion but loved me while I was doing it.

Eldridge is a Catholic mom living in the Diocese of Baton Rouge facing the same challenges all families face.