Pro-life advocate recalls anguish of abortion

A dark, dreary sky greeted Jeanie Holmes in the early morning hours of Jan. 27, 1991.

Little did Holmes realize that those clouds of darkness would forever remain a part of her own personal horizon.

It was on that cold morning when Holmes was accompanied by two friends from Hammond to the Delta Women’s Clinic in Baton Rouge. Hours later she would emerge from the clinic after having an abortion, the remains of her child stowed away in a medical container as part of the day’s trash.

Thirty years later, to the day, Holmes sat in the popular Hammond restaurant she owns showered with peace, but acknowledging those dark clouds are never far away.

“The evil lie of abortion is that it’s just like that, it’s over and you move on, that it is a clump of cells,” said Holmes.  “That is a lie because you can’t live with it in yourself, it is going to come out, you are going to hurt like hell. One day somewhere, somehow, some way you are going to have to face it.”

Holmes, a native of Hammond who attended Holy Ghost School and Holy Ghost Church, recalled at how at the age of 19 she became pregnant while a freshman at Southeastern Louisiana University. Distraught after having learned of her pregnancy, she confided to her close friend, who told her, ‘Don’t worry, you can have an abortion. I had one and it’s no big deal.’

Holmes contacted the child’s biological father who showed no emotion and told her “to take care of it. That was further humiliating.”

Although raised in a close-knit Catholic family, Holmes admitted the “worst thing would have had to tell my parents about it.

“(Satan) really helped facilitate the idea in my mind that it would have made more sense to go have an abortion than sit down and talk to my loving, amazing, supportive parents.”

So on that foggy morning she walked into the abortion clinic, head down, taking what she says “were the heaviest, hardest steps I ever took. Just the fact that I went that way to this day just staggers me. I was desperate.”

She was eventually ushered into a room with five or six other young women, Holmes said the doctor went down the line, one by one, squashing life as if on a production line.

During the procedure, Holmes recalls saying over and over, “Jesus Christ is my Lord and savior. I was so afraid I was going to die there and go straight to hell.

“It angered the paid executioner (doctor), and he told the nurse to ‘shut her up.’ ”

Less than 10 minutes later, the procedure was over, although the mental anguish was just beginning. Her behavior pattern dramatically changed, to the point nearly a year later she was confronted by her mother, who asked what was wrong.

“I just burst it out that I had an abortion,” Holmes recalled. “My mom’s face, it was like sticking a knife in her heart. That is a pain no parent deserves.”

Her parents sought counseling for her with Father Jeff Bayhi, who was assigned to St. Jules Parish in Belle Rose at the time. Holmes recalls with great affection how Father Bahyi absolved her and told her that she needed to get on with life, saying that is “what Jesus wanted me to do.”

Two years later, she gave birth to the first of her three children, a son Brennan who is now 28 and a staunch pro-life advocate. Brennan was born Jan 28, two years and one day after his older sibling was aborted. 

But more sorrow was to come, and Holmes would once again become pregnant, and have a second abortion. 

“One of the things I’ve learned is if you have an abortion once there is a high chance you will abort twice,” Holmes said. “If you abort twice you will abort three times. I thank God I was finally able to get out of that cycle.”

As the years passed, she would settle down, get married and welcome two more children into the world. But a simple question to Brennan ten years ago would trigger a turning point in her life, one that would eventually take her to the steps of the Supreme Court. 

When Brennan returned from the annual March for Life rally in Washington D.C., Holmes asked him what made the  biggest impact on him.

Holmes said seeing the ladies stand on the Supreme Court steps with a red rose and a sign that says, “I Regret My Abortion.”

It was then, 11 years into her marriage, that she felt called to take her story public. She immediately sent her story to Silent No More, an awareness campaign that encourages those hurt by abortion to reach out, educate and share their personal testimonies to help others avoid similar pain. Since that time, she has told her story countless times, including on the steps of the Supreme Court in January 2021. 

“There is anxiety and apprehension leading up to telling the story but I knew I had to tell all or I could never be free,” she said. “As hard as it is, it would be harder to keep it a lie.”

Holmes said the Lord has used her in a number of ways during the past decade, including sidewalk counseling that has led to success stories. She always wears her “I Regret My Abortion” T-shirt and puts herself in a position where she is visible.

Her voice dripping with emotion, she recalled one success story where a young girl originally planning to have an abortion changed her mind and chose life. Ultimately, the baby was named after Brennan. 

“I got to hold that baby boy,” she said. “That was a highlight of my life.”

Holmes admitted that she is “incredibly concerned” about the Biden administration reversing the progress that has been made in recent years toward the potential elimination of Roe vs. Wade. She wonders why Democrats who are pro-life would “continue to align yourself with the party of death.” She has even confronted Gov. John Bel Edwards and other local politicians regarding their own beliefs. 

 “It is a very slippery slope and we are on it,” Holmes said. “You decide who lives and who dies and apparently any reason is good enough.”

But 30 years after the most regretful decision of her life, Holmes remains committed to doing everything she can to save the lives of the unborn, advocating for life where there is death. 

“Abortion is a money making industry and it is blood money,” she said. “I will never shut up, I will stay in prayer and ask the Lord to direct me.”