Teaching Children To Pray

When we say “I’ll pray for you” or “You’ll be in my prayers” do we really mean it?  We send emoji prayer hands and click the care button on Facebook but what happens after that?  I most certainly do not have a “Qualified to Throw Stones” certificate so if you often click and move on you are in common company.  

My intent was there and my vanity even wanted to follow up to be able to say “I prayed” or “I lit a candle for you” but the reality was I have not always been faithful. I have not made the time. I have put that rosary off until the next day, then that next day turned into not ever. This neglect was not just for the prayers asked for by others but my own too. 

Why do we say we will do things but then do not? Specifically speaking, to pray. There have been many seasons in life that have shown me the need for consistent prayer. We all have had way too many phone calls that deserve the response of the adage  “life is short.” So why not make prayer a way of life? We certainly cannot control everything and we know it works. 

It was a lack of discipline for me or maybe even an opportunity cost that I would weigh. I can now pinpoint two very specific things that keep me accountable to a life of prayer, and they are the responsibility to salvation of the tiny souls we have been given and the example of faithful others who show me the love of Jesus through their obedience. 

If I want my children to lean into the Lord when life gets rough, to resign to his hand in all things and to give glory in all circumstances, then I must do my best to model what that looks like. For me, an effective strategy is to model prayer. The truth is that for a long time I thought that if I wasn’t in a quiet space, on my knees, or in a peaceful state with beads in hand that my prayer would not be very efficacious. 

How do I show kids that? That is intense. Thankfully, I was educated by what a priest once told a very wise lay Carmelite friend of mine, “Honey, it is not up to you to judge your prayers. The Lord hears them all.”  Those words smacked me right in the head. Who was I to think my prayers even made a difference or to assume that the way I prayed them did not?  

Here is your slice of humble pie. The takeaway? There is no wrong way to pray. You all know the rosary is our family devotion but that’s not a prayer for the middle of the slumber party or at recess when they can’t find a friend or when you know mom asked you not to ride your bike into the next neighborhood but everyone else is leaving you in the dust. Those instances call for “shoutouts.” 

We all have little prayers that we pray throughout the day:  “Christ be near;” “Come Holy Spirit;” “Mary be my momma right now;” “JMJ, I give you my heart and soul.” These are short prayers for giving glory or calling for support when we feel lost or out of control. 

I hope they also pray their “shoutouts” when they feel that another person may need a little extra Jesus. Our children do not have smartphones to text prayers to their friends when they ask or to comment on a request while scrolling up as adults and older kids do but they sure can learn to pray a quick “shoutout.” They can pray and be graced with the courage to sit by the loner or call for help with their decision to not participate in inappropriate conversations. Our hope is when they need guidance or they believe they should help someone in need they will call on the one that will never let them down.  

Yes, my bebes keep me liable for praying and praying for others faithfully but another method that keeps me reverent to the practice is my holy friends. Friends who pray but also fast, offer up their suffering on behalf of my intentions, share their guardian angels or simply just show up. For a long time, I was too proud to ask people to pray for me.  I can tell you it wasn’t a priority for me until I was in a dark place. Prayer had not become a discipline or a way of life for us until we faced challenges completely out of our hands.  I was not able to sustain a pregnancy on my own,  my husband lost two jobs and I battled an alcohol problem for far too long to name a few. 

Life was heavy and we were trying to carry it alone. Not until all we could do was lay our crosses down beneath the shadow of Jesus’ cross and rest in him did we see the love the Lord had for us and for others. Not until then did we see the necessity of the intercession of others. That love was so powerful and so strong that I now seek it constantly and want others to feel it as well. 

I want you all to know how much he loves you.  When we finally got ourselves out of his way and allowed him to work, the fruit started to grow from all the grace that was rained down upon us. I now saw and felt firsthand the labor of prayer, the power of others covering me and the warmth of his Sacred Heart. That is when my empathy engaged and my little emoji prayer hands were separated and I intentionally turned them palms up to share that love with others. 

The columnist is a Catholic mom living in the Diocese of Baton Rouge facing the same challenges all families face.