What sins to confess?

Lent is upon us and already palms are sweating.

Contributing to those sweaty palms are those pesky Lenten sacrifices for the next 47 days (no fudging on Sundays), such as giving up one’s favorite beverage, junk food (yikes, that’s tough), television or perhaps the real challenge, chocolate. 

For many however, those stomach rumblings can also be contributed to the anticipated reception of one of the Catholic Church’s greatest sacraments, that being confession, or perhaps in more modern Catholic parlance, reconciliation. Lent is when many  Catholics go to confession, with some of us old timers pining for the anonymity of the traditional confessionals complete with screens. 

Let’s be honest, how many of us disguised our voices to protect our identity from the priest? Yep, thought so.

Fear will trickle through the veins of many, wondering what priest awaits, hoping he is in a forgiving mood, all while going through the menu of our transgressions. It’s a fear familiar to many, me included. 

Even now, as I wait in a confessional line, anxiety is an unwelcomed visitor, creating doubts in those final few moments before baring my  soul, personal weakness and vulnerabilities. 

Those final minutes are not particularly calming, as I mindfully examine the ways I have turned my back to God, have stepped outside of my faith, since my most recent confession. And then, while staring at the backs of fellow sinners in line, I understand there is no other place I need to be besides in church.

I also wonder what sins to confess. Should I dump the entire check list of sins, snarling the line for quite some time? 

And how many of us actually confess the totality of our sins? Do we hold a few back, just out of shame?

Are we such good friends with the priest that we do not want him to know all of our dirty secrets and darkest moments? If so, what then is the criteria for determining the sins to leave on our soul out of our own pride, which, then again, is another sin? Being Catholic is demanding!

I recall several years ago when walking into the confessional awaiting me was an archbishop, who I was privileged to know. He greeted me with a smile and “Hello, Richard.” Flustered, I quickly hit the delete button on several sins to confess. 

Let’s face it, can we really admit all of our sins to an archbishop?

I’ve spoken with friends and colleagues regarding this conundrum, and it was refreshing to learn I was not alone, that I was not the only person putting a few sins in reserve to be confessed at a later date. In community there is comfort.

But during my most recent retreat before the pandemic, I went to confession with a clergy member who is a long-time and valued friend. He knows my shortcomings, which are many, and my strengths, if  any.

Likely bored with hearing the summer return version of my life he gave me a penance I had never experienced. Rather than the scripted “three Hail Marys and Our Fathers,” he directed me to read and reflect on certain Scripture passages.

Stunned was my reaction, as it was the first time confession came with homework. But I did what he asked, and I’ve never viewed confession the same.

While reading and reflecting on the Scripture, while praying on my own infidelity to our Lord, I was overwhelmed with a sense of peace. And mercy.

For the first time  I truly understood what we Catholics are taught about God being a merciful and forgiving God. In what became an emotional moment, I could tangibly feel God’s mercy touch my heart.

As Lent nears, or at any time during the year, I encourage everyone to take advantage of this blessed sacrament. Experiencing the forgiveness of God, knowing that he loves us and embraces us despite our many warts, is indeed life changing.

See you in the confession line; just look for the sweaty palms.

Meek is the editor of The Catholic Commentator. He can be reached at rmeek@diobr.org.