Hearing God speak through spiritual direction

Popular with many Catholics, spiritual direction is considered one of the treasures of the Catholic Church. And for others, it might also be considered a hidden gem.

Often, Catholics might be familiar with the term of spiritual direction but uncertain as to its meaning.

Dina Dow, director of the Office of Evangelization and Catechesis for the Diocese of Baton Rouge, called spiritual direction a private guidance given to a person seeking to grow in holiness. 

Father Bob Stine, a retired priest in the Diocese of Baton Rouge who has been a spiritual director for more than 30 years, said spiritual direction is available to anyone who simply wants to have a better relationship with God.

“That is the key desire,” he said, saying the commitment is one must have a prayer life and agree to pray daily. 

He said a consistent prayer life is a necessary ingredient, adding the caveat that if a person struggles with prayer, he will offer tips.

“Always pray as you can and not as you can’t,” he said. “If a person is not praying, they are not developing their relationship with God.”

Father Stine said prayer does not have to be structured. It can be spontaneous or talking to Jesus in one’s own words. As a spiritual director, he asks his directees to spend at least 30 minutes a day in prayer.

“We want to be able to talk to God and to be able to listen,” he said. “The result is that one feels closer to one’s friend. You feel the bond, the connection.”

Father Stine noted in the secular world a person has various forms of counseling available to address concerns in their life. He compared spiritual direction to secular guidance counseling, where a person is not in crisis but might be a student being counseled on what courses to take.

“Spiritual direction is different from secular guidance in that it is guidance from a spiritual, faith-filled perspective and the real direction comes from the Holy Spirit,” he said. “The Holy Spirit is the real director in spiritual direction.

“It’s the Holy Spirit’s guidance we are seeking.”

Father Stine, who earned a master’s degree in spiritual direction from Creighton University, said the person seeking spiritual direction often yearns for a peace they have never experienced but have seen in other people of faith or a peace they once had but is now lost.

Since Father Stine follows Ignatian spirituality he said imaginative and contemplative prayer will form the spiritual foundation. 

“That is the skeleton of it and there are many variations off of that,” he said, noting that there are other traditions of spiritualty available,  including the Benedictine. “I encourage them to learn how to pray more effectively in a way that will help them deepen their intimacy with God.” 

Hearing and paying attention go God’s voice is critical, discerning “what is God telling me in my life?” Father Stine said. “How do I know it’s God and not just me talking?

“That is an important part of growth in prayer.”

Bring clarity to what is perhaps one misconception, Father Stine said he explains to the directee spiritual direction is not confession. He said a spiritual director does not have to be a confessor but being a priest he can be both. He added spiritual directors can be clergy or the laity.

If during a meeting with the directee that person asks to receive reconciliation, Father Stine will put on a prayer stole to let that person know that together they are doing something different. 

“In confession we are looking at our sins, our brokenness, seeking forgiveness,” he said. “Spiritual direction also touches on these things but not specifically  designed for forgiveness of sin. It’s more of what is God doing in my life.”

He said spiritual direction is looking at a person’s awareness  of  resisting God. In confession, one is looking at actions, what did one do or the omission of doing something.

“Spiritual direction is looking at what was going on in your mind and in your heart while you were sinning,” he said. “It’s being aware of God’s presence and my response or no response,  becoming more aware of it so I will be guided by the Holy Spirit.” 

Father Stine said he also assists directees to be in touch with God’s presence, a presence that be carried into daily life. Additionally, he helps the person be aware of the times when one might turn away from God.

“What did I feel like, so next time I am better prepared,” he said. “What was I thinking about so the next time I will be aware of it and can better respond with the Holy Spirit than just to act?”

Father Stine said traditional spiritual direction involves a one-on-one relationship with the director and directee, with each session lasting about 45 minutes to an hour. He said confidentiality is involved but not as strict as confession.

He acknowledged spiritual direction is just for a time because no spiritual director has all of the gifts. He said the decision to end that that relationship can lie with either the director or directee.

‘The directee can say thank you for your help and I am going to look for a new director. Or the director can say to the directee we made a nice journey together and now it’s time for you to move on and find a new director,” he said. 

He also encourages the directee to be their own spiritual director, recognizing the Holy Spirit is the ultimate spiritual director, so that person can become more proficient in prayer because “they are the ones that have to make the decision.”

Father Stine said when deciding on a spiritual director, compatibility between the two must be present. 

“You are talking about something very intimate – your relationship with God,” he said. “So you have to feel comfortable with the other person otherwise the other person can’t be of any help”

He said he does not force his own theological model and it is the directee’s relationship with God that is always the priority. 

“Receiving spiritual direction empowers us to cultivate virtue and counter evil in our life through prayer, awareness, discernment and humility,” Dow said. “It deepens our openness to the Holy Spirit, as well as our relationship with Jesus Christ as we receive the grace of God through the sacraments and work towards perfection each day.”