When I told my husband that I was approached about possibly writing a column regarding how we focus on raising our kids in the Catholic faith amid the mainstream world he responded, “Well, Ellen it’s not like we are doing anything new. Many wonderful saints and the Blessed Mother ask that families pray the rosary together so we do.”
Oh, you humble me, Lord. I thought he would say “Wow” instead of “well” but that’s how I know God loves me. He gave me this husband that balances, supports and provides the most meaningful, realistic partnership based in faith that I didn’t even know could exist.
My name is Ellen, y’all. I am as Cajun as the day is long, living in the land of Zachary. It is far, far away from my momma and folks that say “bye, cher” when I leave.
I have been married 16 years to my sweet dude. We met at LSU. He was in the Navy for the beginning years of our marriage and I taught school. Fast forward 12 years and here we are now, at 40 or a hair shy of it, blessed with four very cool kids ranging from 11 years old to eight months. The kids attend public school, and we both work outside of the home.
My husband is intelligent, an avid reader, super consistent in parenting and does ALL of the laundry. On the other hand, I like to plant flowers, watch them bloom, take pictures of said blooms and then look at the pictures before I go to sleep. I also occasionally cook hot meals, and tell the kids, “No TV” as I ask my oldest to turn up the volume so I can hear what Dr. Pol said about the old horse.
As individuals we vary in the depths of our interests and work habits but we are most certainly on the same page when it comes to the salvation of our children. Our common goal is heaven. But how does one guide tiny humans to heaven in the thick of raising them and all that comes with it?
Our mission is prayer and walking in faith. We try our best to intertwine the two into our parenting. It truly is a “try.” The effort is deliberate. The way we try to incorporate the mission into our daily routine is fluid.
We have foundational habits like praying a family rosary nightly, but we have some things that shift as chapters change. We sometimes pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet on Saturday because, “yesssss, it’s just six minutes.” We all love “Jesus” music and wear as many sacramentals as the neck and wrists allow. These routines were not in place overnight and we still struggle through them.
I’ll try and paint a picture.
At 7:30 p.m. daily everyone in our house knows they need to grab their weapons and get ready. The tricky part is my husband and I don’t always know what little spiritual battle we may need to combat before we make the sign of the cross. Sometimes it is a severe case of “rosary induced dehydration” or the ole’ sudden bout of “rosary induced leg pain.”
The diversions may cause voices to be raised or even invite a pregame pep talk. I grit my teeth and sigh A LOT. It can take five to 10 minutes to settle on the couches because of the dire need to make a giant glass of iced water, find a favorite blanket or my new favorite, “No, it’s my turn to hold the baby,” but once we get started my heart heats up. It burns.
It is the labor of love that brings us the most peace of all. Praying our family rosary is rarely smooth and to say it is a deep contemplative experience is only occasionally true for us. So does it still count? Yes! Does the Blessed Mother cover your babies with her mantle of gentle love and protection? Yes! Does praying the rosary pour grace all over your family? Yes! Does it pour grace even if while praying someone continues to pick their toenails as Dad spills the most profound intentions? Yes! It all counts.
I will dedicate tonight’s family rosary to all of you. I’ll pray that you will think about bringing the rosary into your “hectic” schedule if you have not already. Whether it’s a decade a night or an entire rosary where your second daughter, who is performance-driven, reenacts the entire Passion as the Fourth Sorrowful Mystery.
I will pray that you soon feel a pull on your heart for the rosary. When we first began I had to pray a rosary to be able to pray a family rosary. Maybe that could be a good starting place for now. It is always a good idea to ask friends for help, too. You could call on St. Louis and St. Zelie Martin. They were able to master a prayer life and work jobs while raising rascals.
The rosary is hands down the best habit we ever decided to make time for as a family.
The columnist is a Catholic mom living in the Diocese of Baton Rouge facing the same challenges all families face.